Inspectorings WW-TWYND

I -And what were you doing at the time?

C -Well, I was just sitting, there, not minding my own business, disturbing everyone, too busy at being an outstanding citizen to do any arm!

I -Just sitting there?

C -Just sitting there.

I -And you didn’t do anything to help the victim?

C -Of course not! What do you think I am?  A coward? Why yes, you are very right, I am.

I -Rest assured I never doubted it. What about your cousin, miss Jeany?

C -You can ask her yourself when she comes.

I -I thought she was mute.

C -She is.

I -And deaf.

C -Of course.

I -And blind.

C -You’ve got a problem with that?

I -Not at all. We shall wait for her then.

C -Good.

I -So you were just sitting there, right?

C -Yes.

I -And what did you see?

C -Nothing.

I -Nothing at all?

C -No. I was facing the wall at the time.

I -Did you hear anything?

C -No.

I -And why did you not turn to see what was happening when you heard the sounds?

C -I already told you I was facing the wall, do I need to repeat myself?

I -Yes.

C -No. I was facing the wall at the time.

I -Did you hear anything?

C -No.

I -And why did you not turn to see what was happening when you heard the sounds?

C -Because I was too curious to know what I was hearing. I didn’t want the visual to spoil the fun!

I -Of course.

C -I think I hear my cousin coming.

M -Hi, Charles.

C -Hello. How is my cousin doing?

M -She is doing quite fine…I think.

C -What about you, Mary?

M -Quite good, quite good.

C -My cousin isn’t giving you too much trouble?

M -Oh no! She’s an angel!

I -Could she answer a few question for us?

M -Of course not!

I -And why is that, may I ask?

M -Why, she’s mute, blind and deaf, is why!

I -What a convenient excuse…

M -But I could answer for her.

I -Fair enough. What was she doing when the murder happened?

M -She was just sitting there, minding her own business, not disturbing anyone, to busy at being a bad example to not do any harm.

I -Pretty strong alibi… What about you, Miss Purler?

P -I was just sitting there, minding my own international affairs, not disturbing anyone except one or two third world countries, too busy to even think at my influence as a good or bad role model, even less stab anyone. What about you, Inspector? What were you doing while the crime was occurring?

I -I was just inspectoring there, minding my own inspectorings, inspectoring everyone, too busy at being an inspectoring inspector to not stab anyone.

C -So you did stab the victim.

I -The victim was poisoned. I stabbed a non-victim.

M -What a convenient excuse…

P -And thus the Inspector becomes the fifth suspect!

M -But Jeany can’t be a suspect!

I -Was she in the room at the moment of the crime?

M -Yes, but…

I -Then yes, she is a suspect.

P -But the poison could have been used outside the room, before we entered it.

I -Not in this case.

C -And why is that?

I -The victim was stabbed…

P -So the victim WAS stabbed.

I -…with a poisoned blade.

P -Oh…

C -That makes sense.

M -Indeed.

J -…

I -Point taken, Jeany.

M -She’s always been a clever child, despite her disabilities.

I -So. Did any of you see what was happening?

C -No.

M -No.

P -No.

J -…

I -How comes?

C -I was facing the wall, at the time.

M -At the time, I was facing the wall.

P -Time wall at the I facing, the was.

J -…

I -So you all have the same clever excuse?

C -Yes.

M -Yes.

P -Yes.

J -…

I -So do I… Please tell me your ages.

C -34

M -64

P -54

J -…

I -And I am 44...

P -Interesting…

M -Indeed.

C -This be important information.

J -…

C -And at what time was the victim killed?

I -10:19 and 54 seconds precisely.

P -Fabulous! How do you get such precise information, Inspector?

I -The victim fell on the table, suddenly lifting a spoon, in which there was a pea, that rolled on the floor, making me trip on it, braking my watch in the fall.

P -Police investigation techniques are so advanced now, it’s really impressive!

M -I’ll find it impressive when it actually gets the victim’s killer.

C -We did advance a lot on that matter.

M -Did we?

I -Why, yes. We have the age of all the suspects and the time at which the murder happened. These are strong evidence.

M -Pointing to what, exactly?

I -That much, we still don’t know.

M -Oh…

P -Didn’t see that coming, eh?

M -No, I most admit that argument got me by surprise.

J -…

I -Lets continue to logically investigate.

C -Yes.

I -The victim was sitting at the south end of his table. We were all sitting before the wall. At what part of the room was everyone exactly sitting?

C -I was sitting at the north end.

M -Me and Jeany were sitting at the south end.

P -I was sitting at the west end.

J -…

I -And I was sitting on the east side. The victim facing north and being stabbed in the back, prime suspect becomes Mary and Jeany. Because it is the less obvious possibility, Charles, sitting on the north side, becomes prime suspect number 3. Miss Purler and I shall share the role of prime suspect number 4.

C -Does anyone know where the knife and poison were?

P -Knife was beside me, on the south side.

I -And poison was beside me, on the north side.

C -…

M -…

P -…

J -…

I -And the case goes a step further.

P -It does.

M -It does?

C -It does.

I -Indeed.

J -…

M - Jeany was sitting on my left.

I -So she could have gone to the poison without you noticing it. And you could have gone to either the knife or the poison without her noticing, as she is blind, deaf and mute.

C -But she could not have gone to the poison without you noticing.

P -But you could have.

I -But he couldn’t have reached the knife without you noticing.

P -And any of us two could have taken either the knife or the poison. Me the knife and you the poison.

C -But of course, all these allegations apply only if the killer was too lazy to get around the table.

I -…

M -…

P -…

J -…

C -And if the killer took any of the knife or poison, the victim would have seen them doing so.

I -So it was someone the victim trusted enough not to get disturbed by them taking both knife and poison.

P -I know for a fact that the victim trusted Jeany.

M -Of course! She’s an angel.

C -And Mary being nothing else than an extension of Jeany, he trusted her too.

M -Is that how you see me, as a mere extension?

C -Yes.

P -Yes.

I -Yes.

J -…

I -What about you, Miss Purler, did the victim trust you?

P -I was in charge of international business affairs. Of course the victim didn’t trust me!

I -Do you like your job, Miss Purler?

P -No. I hate it.

I -And you Charles? Did the victim trust you?

C -I don’t know. I barely knew the victim.

M -And you, Inspector, did he trust you?

I -Mary, I’m a cop. Would you trust a cop?

M -No.

C -No.

P -Yes.

J -…

I -Miss Purler? You would trust a cop?

P -Yes.

I -You are unconscious, my child.

C -No she’s not.

I -What do you mean?

C -She’s not unconscious, she’s dead.

I -Damn.

M -Indeed.

J -…

P -…

C -Well, now we know that she wasn’t the killer.

I -That is not a certainty.

C -It is not?

I -No. If you think that, you must be very unconscious.

M -No he’s not.

I -What do you mean?

M -He’s not unconscious, he’s dead.

I -Damn.

M -Indeed

I -But now we do know that Miss Purler was not the killer.

M -As she could not have killed him.

I -But that he could have killed himself.

M -Maybe out of guilt.

I -Who knows?

J -…

P -…

C -…

I -Tell me, Mary, what was your relationship with the victim?

M -Why, I thought you knew, I’m the victim’s niece guardian.

I -I just wanted to make sure. What about Charles, do you know what his relationship was?

M -He was the victim’s son

I -I thought he barely knew the victim.

M -He did, they met just yesterday.

I -Damn.

M -Indeed.

J -…

P -…

C -…

I -I think I understand, now.

M -Do you?

J -…

P -…

C -…

I -Yes, I think I do.

M -Please tell

J -…

P -…

C -…

I -You killed the victim.

M -Did I?

J -…

P -…

C -…

I -Yes. And I can even tell you how and why!

M -Impressive. Please do.

J -…

P -…

C -…

I -The victim having found his son, the legacy would logically go to him, which upset you, since Jeany was supposed to be beneficiary, so, having an easy access to the knife, which was  in the south part of the west wall, you used it to stab the victim, out of sheer rage. The poison was added to the wound afterwards. Miss Purler being in charge of the international affairs, thus being responsible for a major part of the victim’s wealth, you feared she would try to leave with a share. Charles was then killed for the obvious reason that he was the official beneficiary.

J -…

P -…

C -…

M -… You got me.

I -I did.

M -Damn.

I -Indeed.